Priorities 1  Carlisle
by Joanne Brandon
Summary: The party has occurred, the event has happened, the future is yet to unfold but the aftermath is occurring. I suck at summaries basically. This is the first is a series of different POVs about the thoughts & feelings of the Cullens after Page 28 New Moon


**AN****: this is Carlisle's point of view from the events that happened in New Moon from Page 28 til just before Edward leaves**

**I sadly don't own anything except the books I have bought and cried over**

I'm so proud of my family tonight. No one except Jasper went for Bella's blood. They had protected the innocent human that means so much to our family. All of them had resisted even if they couldn't stay in the same room. Even Rosalie helped save her. I think this is a real turning curve for her, especially with everything in their past. Still, it's come too late.

Edward is so hurt. I could see it in his eyes. My son is hurting now. He has such a pure heart and doesn't deserve this choice and decision he is now faced with. He's doing this for the right reasons like a good person but the emotions he will feel until after tonight's revolution are so wrong.

I hope he will not punish himself while trying to do the right thing. I love him so much but I can't help thinking that maybe, just maybe, it would be better for us to leave Bella alone. No! I mustn't think such a sinful thought. Edward has always tried so hard to abstain. Tonight he proved his worthy self control. He truly loves her.

I turn my thoughts away from Edward momentarily to think of his beloved Bella. She was so sacred when everything was set into motion. When everyone had left except for me she was embarrassed that her 'carelessness' had nearly destroyed all of our pretences. She still doesn't understand how important she is to all of us. How important she is to Edward.

Bella and I had a very interesting conversation tonight. I think I made her realize the sacrifice Edward would be making if he granted her wish. I knew she hadn't been expecting the direction our conversation had moved to. Still I fear after tonight it won't matter what she has realized. We will leave and in our wake both their souls will be left shattered.

Now Bella comprehends Edward's story, his reason for walking around forever frozen at seventeen. She now realizes the cost he has paid for a life he wouldn't have chosen for himself. I believe she appreciates the situation. She knows what she would do in his position. So at least that has come out of tonight.

Although now she understands his motives better will she be able to withstand the decision I can feel he is making as I sit helplessly in my study. I'm sitting here in my office with so much knowledge and understanding. But even now I don't know how to deal with the aftermath of tonight. All I can do is sit and wait for him to decide. Then to support him whatever happens next. He's my priority even though I want to help Bella survive the new moon of her life.

I rise unsteadily, I need Esme. She'll know what to do and will help me bring our son through this hard time. As I walk to our bedroom her face is hidden. She can't lose another son, last time killed her. She'll support me and I'll help her, that's the way it's always been. My mind reaches out to her's, trying to show I care and will help her through her pain and torment. She's my priority, just like Edward is her's and mine to share.

Carlisle's office had not been the only place for pain and anguish tonight in this suddenly lonely and echoing house. Esme had been pondering the events that had crushed such a promising relationship and future. The sensitive mother of the clan sat in her bedroom across the hall from her husband. Although they were close she couldn't go to him yet, she couldn't bring herself to move. Her normally happy nature tainted with the tragedy of tonight. Already lost deep in thought she sat motionless. Her rounded face frozen in pain and dry sobbing.

**AN: this is the first in a set of 5 I think. Please review they mean so much to me as do your thoughts**


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